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Slim Jim Snapalope

Chuck Zimmerman

SnapalopeHere’s one animal you can hunt at your local grocery or convenience store. It’s the Snapalope. Brought to you by the Snapalope Hunting Association of America. You’ll find lots of fun and helpful information on their website.

Snapalope are part of the family Snap. Skittish by nature, these herd dwellers stand thirty-one inches tall and graze extensively throughout store habitats across the United States. Distinguishable by their long antlers and slender bodies, snapalope have no known predators aside from man who hunt them for their delicious spicy meat and exquisite yellow and red hide.

Thanks Adrants.


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Comments 6

  1. As me and alex were walking through Wegmans Supermarket, we stumbled upon an aggresive pack of snapalopes. Using our teamwork abilities we caught a good 5 or 6 of them before the rest of the pack avenged their capture by beating down alex with slim jims of doom. Alex is no longer with us. =[ A ceremony will be held in her honor this sunday. Snapalopes are not welcome.

  2. As me and alex were walking through Wegmans Supermarket, we stumbled upon an aggresive pack of snapalopes. Using our teamwork abilities we caught a good 5 or 6 of them before the rest of the pack avenged their capture by beating down alex with slim jims of doom. Alex is no longer with us. =[ A ceremony will be held in her honor this sunday. Snapalopes are not welcome.

  3. As me and alex were walking through Wegmans Supermarket, we stumbled upon an aggresive pack of snapalopes. Using our teamwork abilities we caught a good 5 or 6 of them before the rest of the pack avenged their capture by beating down alex with slim jims of doom. Alex is no longer with us. =[ A ceremony will be held in her honor this sunday. Snapalopes are not welcome.

  4. When hunting the Snapalope, one must have the proper safety gear, First off, the antlers are deadly if charged at. Second, always carry a flashlight…this will give the hunter an advantage, stunning the poor snapalope, allowing for a much easier catch. (This method of capture is under great dispute by the International Snapalope Hunters Association [ISHA] deeming to be considered an unfair advantage against the animal.) Thirdly…no firearms what so ever. With the location of hunting such species, it’s very possible for the clerks to be confused by a hunter seeking a snapalope trophy, and robbing the darn store. Besides, a shotgun would not leave much of the game for the hunter to consume.

    — Steve the Snapalope Hunter

  5. When hunting the Snapalope, one must have the proper safety gear, First off, the antlers are deadly if charged at. Second, always carry a flashlight…this will give the hunter an advantage, stunning the poor snapalope, allowing for a much easier catch. (This method of capture is under great dispute by the International Snapalope Hunters Association [ISHA] deeming to be considered an unfair advantage against the animal.) Thirdly…no firearms what so ever. With the location of hunting such species, it’s very possible for the clerks to be confused by a hunter seeking a snapalope trophy, and robbing the darn store. Besides, a shotgun would not leave much of the game for the hunter to consume.

    — Steve the Snapalope Hunter

  6. When hunting the Snapalope, one must have the proper safety gear, First off, the antlers are deadly if charged at. Second, always carry a flashlight…this will give the hunter an advantage, stunning the poor snapalope, allowing for a much easier catch. (This method of capture is under great dispute by the International Snapalope Hunters Association [ISHA] deeming to be considered an unfair advantage against the animal.) Thirdly…no firearms what so ever. With the location of hunting such species, it’s very possible for the clerks to be confused by a hunter seeking a snapalope trophy, and robbing the darn store. Besides, a shotgun would not leave much of the game for the hunter to consume.

    — Steve the Snapalope Hunter

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