Growing up in south Florida, I have been a fan of humorist Dave Barry from the time he was still just the humor columnist at the Miami Herald before he hit the big time, so it was a thrill for me to see him at the American Farm Bureau Federation annual meeting. And while he was unknown to many of the farmers and ranchers in the crowd before today, he was really hilarious and they know him now.

Barry is a big city guy who admitted to knowing nothing about agriculture except for an attempt to grow zucchini, but he was quick to pick up on Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack’s announcement about closing many Farm Service Agency offices around the country. “I’m kinda ticked off because Secretary Vilsack took my entire speech,” Barry said when he took the stage. “So, I’m just going to give the zip codes of the FSA offices that are going to close and then I’m outta here.”

Here’s a couple more ag-related Barry funnies:

“Americans don’t understand agriculture. Way too many Americans believe that food comes from the supermarket. That’s so stupid. It comes from the trucks parked behind the supermarket. Even I know that.”

“You do something useful, something important, you feed the entire world. If you stopped doing what you did, people would starve to death. If I stopped doing what I did, there would be a tiny, incremental drop in the world’s supply of booger jokes.”

Dave Barry also mentioned that he is still running for president. “I don’t see why I shouldn’t, everybody else is. They’re all in New Hampshire, I’m here in Hawaii with you. That’s how much I care…. I will be a friend to the American farmer and rancher. You can just text me the Farm Bill, I’m good with it.”

Here’s a sample of Dave Barry’s keynote at AFBF: Dave Barry at AFBF

AFBF 93rd Annual Meeting Photos